Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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