just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
