I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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