A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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