Quick, to the slutcave!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
