the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
