u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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