East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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