"it" just moved
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
