Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
