Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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