Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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