her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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