her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
