I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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