I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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