what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize