i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
