have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
