Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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