Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
