My room smells like vodka and shame
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
