i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
