Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
