it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
