hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Welp...herpes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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