what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
