Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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