so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize