I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
