I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
