i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
