i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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