to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
