I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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