I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
