he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize