you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I've blown a few things in my day
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize