this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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