Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
