a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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