If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
