Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
