paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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