I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
