I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she pinky promised me she was 18
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize