K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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