you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
