the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She told me I should be a condom model.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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