It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
