i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
