Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We don't watch enough power rangers
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
