If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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