he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Randomize
