If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Terrible idea I love it
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
