Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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