physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
