"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
