For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
