is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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