my shit smells like andre
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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