I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
