the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize