Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
