I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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