Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
