Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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