babies were throwing up all over the place
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
