I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
