a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The air was thick with penises
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
