So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize