Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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