I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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